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GREENWAYS by Dave Patterson Greenways Home |
Brittany's Outbox FROM brit.gw@greenisland.ca Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. -- Henry David Thoreau, 'Walden' a certain large software (extremely soft in reliability especially HAHAHAHAHAAA) corporation has done a LOT of illegal stuff and is being shut down HAHAHAHAHAHAAA - a lot of the illegal behaviour involved a lot of blatant lying concerning their products - such lying is no longer allowed on Green Island.... which has almost ALL of the old guard really pissed - including the lawyers most of all ... “When YOU become God - your prayers can get answered HAHAHAHAHAAA” RM Gullible’s Adventures in the Land of the Box People Chapter ~34,568,542,094, Book 9 “Father, dearest Father,” spoke Gullible, one rainy day as they partook of their lunch, Gullible’s a rather meagre gruel, Father’s a somewhat more luscious repast, as befitted the Master of the House, “your ignorant but anxious to learn offspring is again puzzled by one of the Great Revealed Truths of the Universe, and would be most grateful if you could enlighten him again.” “Certainly, dear Child, certainly,” replied Father, indulgent as always. “It is like this, you see, Dear Father,” continued Gullible, “You have told us all that we must all, quite fairly of course, contribute to the upkeep of our fair and pleasant surroundings, and I can truly see that such is only just - lazy maggots should not indeed live lives of beer-swilling luxury on the public dole. However, the new system of the Great Houses, I believe you have called it the Trickle Down Theory of Prosperity for All, now says that, while all must still contribute, as always, yet indeed some of us must contribute more, and some less. Now, dearest Father, your poor ignorant charge could understand this idea, if it said that those with the least to give - those who, one might say, have partaken from the benefits our society offers most lightly - should perhaps give a little less, thus allowing them to enjoy perhaps one or two more bowlfuls of their fine gruel in the course of a year, perhaps on special occasions, and those with the most to give - those whom, one might also say, have indeed benefited most greatly from the many benefits of our Wonderful Kingdom and its Most Beneficent and Wise Rulers - should perhaps give just a WEEEEEEEEEEEE little bit more to show their appreciation for their great good fortune in living in this Fair Kingdom with its many Benefits, and in this way, those of us with only gruel in our thin undeserving bowls might at least have enough gruel to fill our little tummies of a day, while those whose plates are overflowing with largesse need suffer no diminishment at all should their fat wallets contribute another coin or two to the common purse. But, Dearest Father, such is not the rationale at all of the Fine New Theory; in fact, it would seem to be quite the opposite, and says that those with the most to contribute to the common pot should henceforward actually contribute even less, while those with the least must give yet another spoon of their thin cruel gruel! I am most afraid, Dear Father, that such reasoning escapes the poor tired brain of this wayward child, and I would be most appreciative, as always, of your Enlightenment, Dearest Father!” Father had been listening to Gullible’s rather lengthy question this day with an increasing frown, of concentration no doubt. When Gullible finished speaking he was silent for a second. “Yes, I can see perhaps where the uneducated mind might think such a system contrary, “ he finally spoke, “and it is, of course, one of the reasons we require all children to attend our educational system for many, many years of their early lives, so they can appreciate the fine details of such things, or at least learn to keep their small mouths shut if they do not understand the finer points of what is, after all, quite advanced economic theory that only the very finest minds can truly comprehend. Alas, however, I am afraid many still never learn. However, let me try to put it simply for you, so you can walk the streets of our Fair Town with your head held high, in your own Knowledge that all is as it should be. For as you know, your loving Father and all others of my breed care deeply and truly for our Children, and would do you no harm, no, never - have we not told you so repeatedly, that ALL we do is for YOUR own good, verily it is so - truly, we suffer under the burden we bear for you all!!! And it is for this reason we have decreed that in the future we should keep ever more of our vast wealth, for in this way we can spend it on ever greater endeavours for ourselves, and by this way, by our spending our money, it shall, under the guidance of that mighty Invisible Hand that Guides us All, like the raindrops that fall from on high, ever and inevitably and endlessly trickle down to all of our children, and all shall be happier. If we did not have that extra money, of course, we could not initiate this grand Trickle Down largesse upon you all! With this system, it would most obviously be unfair to expect us to contribute more than a token to the common pot, as we are already doing much more than our share by living as highly as we can! Indeed, my Fair Child, since you show such alertness, I may share a small secret with you - we are even now discussing this matter, as many of our Grand Council feel that since we contribute such bounty to the common weal by living as luxuriously as we can, we ought to be encouraged yet further in our efforts to help the common persons - perhaps our tax rate should be reduced to zero - perhaps even, my Wonderful Wise Comrades in the BoredRoom are thinking, we ought to receive a small token of appreciation from the government itself - a reverse taxation, as it were, wherein those of us with the most income and wealth will receive somewhat more than those with less wealth - as those with less wealth, you will understand, contribute less to the wonderful Tinkling Trickling Down that we Shower all of our wonderful find children with, each and every day of our and their existence! Oh, it is such a fine idea, I must have a glass of champagne!” “Oh, Father,” said Gullible, the glisten of tears forming in his eyes, “as ever you have enlightened me with your great wisdom. It is indeed true that our Great Fathers of the Fat Wallets care truly for the welfare of your ignorant children, and it is only the very rudest of them all who do not appreciate your Wonderful Golden Shower each day!” As Gullible closed the door of the dining room behind him, to return to his job of cleaning the stables so that Father’s fine horses should be clean and healthy when he wished to ride them, he stopped for a moment, startled - he thought he had heard a great burst of laughter coming from the table, and even a rather loud thump that was surely Father falling off his chair onto the floor. Father must have come across a funny story in the paper, he thought, or perhaps some of the champagne bubbles had gone up his nose - although never having experienced champagne - truthfully, never expecting to - young Gullible understood that it sometimes made father do or say funny things. Truly, Gullible thought, content that his Father was happy, lifting the shovel full of the dark, aromatic stable shit, it is a fine world my Father has provided for us all. ******************************** geezus arthur now why in the fuck didn't he center that one?!?!?! it gets so frustrating trying to understand these people..... Umbala's Blog FROM: umbala-shava@galactichq.uni32.gal1357.pl TO seeker@earthlingsindesperation.net Dear Seeker After the Truth (SAT) - Thanks for writing and asking my advice - I am always happy to help people who ask - you’d be surprised how few actually do. You did, though, show rather unusual perseverence in tracking down my address - are you one of those “hackers”? hahaha well done! Actually, the answer to your “problem” is pretty simple - the people you are talking about already know what you say is true, and have no intention of changing anything, so you’re not going to have any impact there - actually, as long as you spend your time talking rather than doing, they are quite happy to leave you be - many people have spent - perhaps I could say wasted, although some good things have come from such seekings - their lives in such pursuits. As for the rest, the people you think or hope you are talking to, those you often refer to as “sheep” or “herdbeasts” or other similar derogatory phrases - well, their minds, such a they are, are pretty much made up, and all of the raging of you and all of your fellow missionaries isn’t going to make a whit of difference, so you aren’t going to have any impact there. As you have seen, the people you are talking about control all the important means of communicating with those you want to talk to, so even if those of you who are quite eloquent in your words at times actually could change the people you try to talk to, you will never reach them in any significant sense, so what you do is essentially futile. Should you ever, through persistence or luck or whatever, start to have an impact - well, we’ll be seeing you here sooner than otherwise hahahaha excuse my little joke - remember Martin and John, for instance, among many others less well known. The people you are talking about are indeed jealous gods. (I could tell you, this is quite a common situation in developing galaxies - few races, I am sad to have to tell you, make it past this stage - those who do are rather exceptional. The planet you know as “Mars” was at about your level of development - right on the cusp of true intelligence - when their “leaders” decided the path to the future was a petulant, psychotic destruction of everything rather than allow the citizens they ruled freedom. Perhaps I will tell you the story sometime, if you’re still around to hear it when I finish my current project and have some time.) I won’t presume to suggest a path for you to follow should you choose to accept these humble words of advice and find a new one - there are many open, to those with eyes to see and the will, the need, to find them. See you around - one of these days. Maybe HAHAHAHAHAAA excuse my little humour - it’s been a long journey this round..... Umbala Shaeva In the ranks of death you'll find him; His father's sword he has girded on, And his wild harp slung behind him. "Land of song!" said the warrior-bard, "Though all the world betrays thee, One sword, at least, thy rights shall guard, One faithful harp shall praise thee!" (The Minstrel Boy, traditional Irish folk ballad) (from OGWA-SE-GETP-EPCTP 2,xxx-09-20-GMT+5-13:55++: TOP SECRET TOP SECRET TOP SECRET TOP SECRET TOP SECRET EYES ONLY EYES ONLY EYES ONLY EYES ONLY EYES ONLY EYES ONLY IF YOU ARE STILL READING THIS YOU BETTER HAVE SUFFICIENT SECURITY CLEARANCE OR WE’LL HAVE TO KILL YOU FROM POTUSSS TO COMNAT RE ROGUE NATION John - as we talked about when you were here a few days ago, it appears the rogue government of this “Green Island” place is not going to allow free and fair elections like we always have here ;) ;) and my people there tell me there are some other pretty serious violations of international law going on, and probably terrorist connections as well ;) ;), so we have decided to enact Homeland Security Regulation 02-IUJ-998-BCNNN-FU and get rid of the assholes. At least the igloo gov (hahaha - man did you see that fucker turn red when I said that HAHAHAHAHAAA - and he couldn’t do a FUCKING thing about it except laugh with me - man I love this job!!!) is onside, so we won’t have to mobilise the northern command to move into Ottawa or wherever they live in that pissant colony - although some of my Texas boys were looking forward to the experience, them Froggie chicks are supposed to be pretty hot hey for some real men, they’re a bit disappointed and still hoping for action - anyway, John, get your boat into their harbour if it’ll fit, put some men ashore, and make sure things go the way they need to go Friday. You know the drill. We got a nucsub swimming around nearby if you need backup, but you should be ok. The idiots don’t even have small arms, my security folk tell me! Georgie A Weedick The answer is blowin in the wind..... Bobby and Joan, and Martin and Esmerelda Two questions: 1. Why? 2. Why not? oh that's just sooooooooooooooooooo cute Charlottetown Colonial ”We cover the Island forever like good fresh manure covers the potato fields in May” June 21 2xxx Dateline Charlottetown Future uncertain - possible TERRORIST connections to new government.... Islanders this morning wake up not sure who their next government will be. For the first time in the history of the Island, no clear winner has been selected by the voters, with the Liberals and PCs both receiving 7 seats, the NDP 5, and the group of Independent candidates being elected in 10 ridings. There was widespread speculation last night that the Independents and NDP would form a coalition, but developments overnight make that eventuality less certain. ‘We’re not certain at the moment,’ Liberal spokesperson Clarity Bell said in an interview, ‘but it seems clear that with less than 50% of Island voters supporting these Independents, they have no clear mandate to form a government, and, as you know, between the Liberals and Conservatives we have over 50% of the vote, so we are looking into what arrangements might be made to give Islanders the government they voted for. There are also a number of irregularities we are looking into concerning the election, even possible Terrorist Connections we have just learned about, questionable financial deposits and so on, but I don’t want to comment on that now.’ The Colonial was unable to contact Mr Stephen Bigelow, the acting leader of the Independents, for comment, but Loftusmus Garrullouspuss, a Political Science Professor at UPEI, said that the allegations of ‘terrorist connections” were just too ludicrous to comment on, and also that it was more than a little hypocritical for the Liberals or Conservatives to be complaining that the Independents and NDP did not have 50% of the vote, since majority-of-seats governments with less than a majority of the votes were quite a common result of First Past the Post (FPTP) elections, as are held in Canada - indeed, very few majority governments in the country had ever received a plurality of the votes. “Even though we have been trying to get the governments here to institute a more fair Proportional Representation system for years now, they have always resisted - so it is a bit hypocritical, to say the least, to hear them complaining as they are now - they have had plenty of time, both parties, in power, to change the system, and have always chosen not to, as long as it was working in their favor. However, they should be relieved - it was, as you will recall, one of the main campaign promises of all of the Independents, and the NDP both, to institute a new electoral system based on PR, so in the future the Liberals and Conservatives both will be treated more fairly - indeed, it is their own strategists and policy makers they ought to be complaining to, for if they had of gotten off their behinds at any time in the last 20 years and rewritten the electoral laws as they were repeatedly asked to, they would not now be in this position.” The strange, very unexpected results can be explained to some extent by voter dissatisfaction with the Liberals, with recent spending irregularities exposed and the rather large salary increase they gave themselves last year - which, it appears, was not forgotten about by the voters, who were quite upset at the idea that the Liberals were performing inferior work but awarding themselves superior pay and hefty raises for that incompetence and malfeasance - and by the election of a new PC leader only a few months ago, Stanley Newconrightwingwacko, whose somewhat rightwing ideas, according to recent pre-election polls, seem to have spooked some of the traditional PC support - most Islanders are rather attached to both the healthcare system and unemployment insurance, both of which policies Mr. Newconrightwingwacko referred to as unnecessary drains on the public purse, and programs the Island simply could not afford, in this era of increased shareholder activism and obscene bank profits - “And, as we all know,” he said on one CBC interview, “you’d have to be crazy to get the banks mad at you hahahaha!” - well, Mr. Newconrightwingwacko, perhaps it’s not such a great idea, in retrospect, to get Islanders mad at you either. Hahahaha. Mr. Newconrightwingwacko, who is not a native Islander but comes from Ontario or some place in Upper Canada and whose last job was with the Conservative-Republican-Alliance (frequently referred to by the less polite as the “CRAP-pers”), was last seen packing his bags - rumours of financial irregularities have surfaced the last couple of days, and he apparently has little desire to remain in PEI after having been rather soundly defeated by Dobie Swan, the NDP candidate in Charlottetown Central where they ran.. So the Liberals and Conservatives, splitting the traditional Island vote fairly evenly, each wound up with some 30% of the vote, and evidently this left the door open just wide enough for the NDP-Independent coalition to sneak in, using a tactic never before seen in Canada - something they called “strategic voting” - if the NDP had a strong candidate in a riding, the Independents supported that candidate rather than running against him or her, and likewise, where the Independent candidate was perceived to be strong, the NDP did not run anyone, but supported and worked for the Independent. The strategy did not sit well with the Liberal or Conservative party strategists, or a number of influential Island pundits. “Where the hell do they get off playing these kind of “away” tricks here on beautiful PEI, I’d like to know,” wrote Freddy MacDonald the day before the election, “they all ought to be driven to the far side of the Confederation Bridge and dumped in New Brunswick if they don’t like the way we do things here - it’s worked great for the last 100 years or whatever, and there’s no place for these newfangled ideas here, in my opinion. There’s a lot of us out here who think that kind of stuff is just plain cheating, and we’re looking into legal ways to see if we can do something about it. I know many Islanders are as outraged as we are that they choose to take advantage of our system this way.” Apparently quite a few PEI voters disagreed. Said Garrullouspuss in a last word, “I can’t imagine why I haven’t heard MacDonald complaining like this before, when the NDP for years now have been getting 5-10% of the vote, and yet no seats at all in the Island Legislature, or the winners of elections getting 55% of the vote and 95% of the seats...." It should be an interesting time ahead for all of us. |
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