FEATURES ARCHIVE: Thoughtful Editorial Observations from the Past...

Conspiracy Theory? Try RAT Theory!!

Every time a group or individual starts speaking as the Macedon speaks (or most anyone else with some small amount of non-fairlytaleness), the business leaders and media analysts and politicians line up at the microphone to discredit it all by saying it is nothing more than a shadowy "conspiracy theory", fashioned by psychopathic leftist-radical- commie-pinko-whacko-etcetc elements of society, who are losers anyway who just can't make it in normal society and are thus driven to formulate these fantastic theories about the CIA and secret wealthy businessmen and plots to take over the country and UFOs and - well, you name it. Elvis will probably get tossed in, and maybe the Loch Ness Monster or Bigfoot if the accusers have had time to read their morning paper (National Enquirer).

But the accusations of "conspiracy theory" are getting a little tired, as the saying goes. To deconstruct is quite simple, really. First, remove the obviously nonsensical things from the ramblings of the accusers - Elvis is most likely dead and buried - but if not, who cares? UFOs and aliens may or may not have landed on the planet - whatever evidence the US government has for or against it is not sharing, and everything else is only speculation.

But the documented abuses and secret wars of the CIA over the last half century have been extensively documented, and are quite beyond denial anymore. The influence of big money in politics is equally beyond denial, and in Canada it has become pretty obvious the last 15 or so years, since that great BCNI puppet Mulroney had his election bought and paid for by that same BCNI (now going under the name of CCCT - Canadian Council of Chief Traitors), that corporations rule.

Conspiracies happen - what kind of simpleton would deny that? There's even a law against "unlawful" ones! And given that, are you really going to sit there and tell me that the richest, most powerful people in the world are also the most honest - and would never, ever, oh my no! engage in some shoddy little "conspiracy" to get what they want!! Really?

It's not written in the government handouts, of course, so some reading between the lines is necessary. Like any crook or traitor, none of them are anxious to publicize their activities, or have them held up to the public light (Tricky Dick found out the hard way that taping the scheming can make for some bad days) - but that does not mean they are not happening, anymore than the denial of an accused criminal means they have committed no crime. Not at all. But evidence must be examined, stories listened to, and witnesses judged for credibility.

But above all - after all is said and done, of which there will be quite a lot, we can bring in the Rat Theory - a theory based on evidence before the eyes, rather than baseless denials of facts. I'm sure you all know it - it originally gained exposure as the Duck Theory, but I find the word Rat much more applicable, in the current situation.

If it looks like a rat. if it walks like a rat, if it talks like a rat, and leaves a trail of ratshit behind it - then even if it scurries around waving a newspaper in its grubby little paw declaring it to be a fancy banker or Lord - well, hehheh, it is probably a Rat. Conspiring with like-minded rats!) to make you think it is NOT a rat!!

There. That's the Rat Theory. Does it remind you of anyone? Do they have 3-piece suits and pretend they're really nice people while they close your hospitals and schools? Are they playing golf in Florida this winter while your friends line up at the food bank? Did they fire 10,000 employees and give themselves a fifty million dollar bonus? Do they start National newspapers and complain about the taxes they have to pay to live in this backwoods colony? Do they pontificate at length about what bad children WE have been, so greedy, while forcing the government to undertake a huge national debt - and now, like naughty children, must pay the price - while the actual instigators of the debt give themselves huge salaries and raises and pension plans and fly off all around the world to "meetings" of various sorts? Does it all smell a bit funny somehow?

Sure. Now you're getting the idea!

Gee it's good, to be Back Home again....