fart on conrad-izzy
The Rude Macedon
question everything
fight lies truth is beauty

Top Of The List!

Canadians for Canada Coalition (CCC) - United Left, if you will - but bottom of the line - Get Rid of Corporate Government in Canada - 2004 Federal Election may be your last chance - act NOW PLEASE!!
The Debt Conspiracy Theory Fact - do you believe people who email you from Africa wanting to give you 10 million bucks? No? Well WHY DO YOU BELIEVE THE NATIONAL DEBT IS LEGITIMATE?!?!? (Sorry - I get excited about this...)
911 - as important as the debt scam - ask yourself why you are so afraid to admit the truth here, even when it's been kicking you in the face almost since it happened? When the world you live in is operating under a lie this big and obvious and monstrous, you have no security whatsoever.
RM 030529 Scotty..?!? the Klingons are coming...

Lead Rant Editorial

It occurs to me (christ I ought to have called this site that - think it was taken though), as I watch the Americans ravaging around the world (more often than not with the support of our sycophantic Canadian government), and reflect on things a bit....

You know how we watch all them neat movies - Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, whatever - where some nice people in some other galaxy in the universe are just living their lives, having a good time, and so on - and boom! - along come the Klingons or some other nasty gang with big spaceships and really powerful boomboom weapons to make their lives miserable, steal their treasures and women, kill them, throw their babies out of incubators (whoops wrong movie), etc. And then, just as things are about to get REALLY bad - Kazoom!! (or whatever saying they are using these days) along comes Mighty Mouse or Obi Wan Kenobi or Captain Kirk or some other great hero to save the day - and all is well ever after, or at least while the credits are rolling. The idea is not especially original - before Heinlein and Clarke and a few others got pretty-good SF off the ground, it was westerns, cowboys and indians, soldiers and indians, whatever - or every now and then somebody would come up with something semi-different like Neanderthal cavemen and Cro-magnon cavemen, or black knights in armour and The White Night - many variations, same story. Bad guys make trouble, good guys save the day, and get the girl and sometimes the loot. We all go home with a good feeling about how good we are, or something, and by god those bad guys better not come around here.

Great idea, really resonates with something inside most of us, about wanting to be seen as good or something, I guess, rather than "bad" - but I got some sort of bad news - well, that was my first reaction, anyway - maybe you'll see it different. A perspective offered here as something you probably won't see in the mainstream press - which is part of what we do.

In the movies, and in our dreams - why, "we're" always the good guys - it's US who comes to the rescue - well, not you or me personally, of course - but Spock and Luke and Kirk, even Gandalf and Frodo, are always "of us" - on our side - we, in other words, are "the good guys", just roaming around the country or universe or whatever on our great white steeds of whatever shape and size, no other thoughts in our pure-white hearts but to do good, and help others, just because we're - you know, good, yeah, really!

But - what if - in the real universe rather than the Hollywood one - the spaceship from Earth is not seen as carrying Captain Kirk and Spock - but the spaceship from Earth has the Klingons!! "Our" great leader isn't wise Gandalf - but nasty Sauron!! Our land isn't happy and innocent Hobbiton - but evil Mordor!! GADZOOKS BATMAN! THE CAT IS OUT OF THE BAG! SHOOT IT QUICK!!

I think there's a pretty strong case to be made, just based on the evidence before us - historical things, that have already happened, and been recorded in the annals of the planet (note - that would not neccessarily be the history books you read in school or get from the government or on tv - these are often somewhat less than truthful, sad to say - but the true history of things which is, I am sure, truly recorded somewhere) - which are, after all, a part of the annals of the universe.

When the people in Venezuala or Panama or Haiti or Indonesia or Vietnam or dozens of other countries see the American flag waving proudly on the approaching vessel, what do you think goes through their minds - the local equivalent of Kirk - or the local equivalent of the Klingons? What about when the Aztecs and Incas saw the great Spanish ships approaching their shores - good news or bad? The Native Americans at Plymouth Rock, or Hochelaga (their name for what is now Montreal)? These native people almost always greeted the great white-skinned strangers with open arms - and almost immediately, in every case, got dead quick for their hospitality, shortly followed by everyone else the great powerful new people could find, as they ravaged through their civilisations killing and looting (c'mon, I challenge you to give me even ONE example where this did not happen). Would you say, offhand, that was a Klingon-like gesture from the great sky gods, or a Kirk-like one? Be honest now.

When/if (George may start the final apocolypse yet) we get some precursor to the Enterprise up there and light-speeding off to Alpha Centauri or wherever, what do you think the Captain's orders will be? I mean, why should we assume they will be any different than the orders Imperial Governments gave here on earth in the past, whether of the old British Empire or Roman Empire or the Spanish Empire, or the current American Empire? Do they say something like - "Go forth and share our bounty and knowledge and help the natives live in peace and prosperity with all?" (HAHAHA - sorry, little black sort of humor there) - or do they actually have orders something like - "See what these sub-human people have of value (always easier to kill non-humans - ask the gooks or the ginks or the slopes or the towelheads or the spics, etc and etc), and arrange for us to get it. If they resist - kill the fuckers. Shit - kill 'em anyway - they just cause trouble later." If they're especially lucky, we'll have some missionaries on board so they can get saved first. Jesus loves me, oh yes he does. I confess my sins please turn the electricity off now ....

Seriously now, all Star Trek and Lone Ranger movies aside, what do you think the standing orders really are? And why would such orders change just because the destination of the exploring ship changes? Actually, given the current "free-trade-is-the-way-to-go" government edicts about almost everything, they would be much more likely to be rapacious in space - the mission has to pay for itself, after all! - none of this socialist shit about research and knowledge for their own sake, or helping people (that's real socialist bullshit, man - dog-eat-dog is the way real men go!) - what friggin nonsense! - the investors require a decent return on their investment - and a high return for this kind of risk - ohyeapraisethebuck! bowdownnow and praisethealmightybuckbuckbuck - and for some reason, I can't imagine any natives somewhere on the other side of the universe sort of spontaneously saying - "Hey! Look at the Earth guys! They sure must have spent a lot on that keen spaceship just to make us all happy and share their neat God with us - let's pass the hat so they haven't wasted all that money!"

Sorry if any of that spoiled your day. But we are interested in poking around the capitalist-elitist myths and trying to get at the truth here, and Captain Kirk just happened to be the shibboleth of the day (and don't get me wrong - I personally love Kirk and Spock and Skywalker and Gandalf and the rest and all they stand for - but I was just wondering which ship I would find them on, were I on some planet with ships approaching....).

It's actually pretty good propaganda - how could a society that produces Kirk et al. be bad, eh? Devious little fuckers. Lies'R'US - don't think about the reality of the US invading all those countries and killing all those people and stealing all those resources - that's just the facts! What you really ought to think about is Captain Kirk - OUR GUY!!!! - saving the universe! - The fucking Klingons are the bad guys not us!! Right. And they call me nuts.

If you want Kirk on the ship representing your country and planet whenever she leaves, and those people on other planets thinking nice thoughts about Earth and y'all when you come to visit, you better do something about these capitalists who are running things here. Some Blackbeard clone would be more their choice to head the first interplanetary expedition, I fear, rather than a Kirk-type. But - just perhaps, hopefully, somewhere out there bopping around the universe in a real-life Enterprise, there really is a Captain Kirk, who will rescue the natives - from us.

Actually, I wish he'd hurry up - we need him here now. It sure looks like the Klingons have already taken over and are in the process of enslaving us all - we don't have much time left.

Scotty? Scotty!!?? - BEAM ME THE FUCK UP!! Quick my man - the Klingons are at the door.....

Well - what about the "news" (I think the term "infotainment" that somebody coined awhile ago is probably somewhat more accurate, or propaganda, lies, etc even moreso, to do the old 'call a spade a spade' bit - insofar as what we see on the tv or in the mainstream papers is connected to what is happening in our world or country, it is shamelessly and quite deliberately spun to make you think what the elite want you to think about it all (quickly now - how many photos and commentaries did you see of that poor kid Ari with his arms blown off, and how many of that amazing hero Ms. Lynch and her (completely fabricated, sorry) "rescue"?) - but you knew that, right? or certainly that that is what we feel about it here, anyway)? Haven't run across anything really outrageous, or should I perhaps say "newly" outrageous, since the whole situation is outragaeous, really - but that falls under the "same shit new day" category.

Some things of interest - there's a lot of coverage of two things these days - the Libs 'pot law' and electoral finance law. As usual, a whole lot of smoke and very little fire - one thing you can be fairly sure of is that nothing serious is going to happen that helps make this a better country, in the sense of MORE security, happiness, freedom, stufflikethat for the average Canadian - lots of good stuff for the elite who run the show, of course, but again SSND - but they like to make a lot of noise like this so they can pretend they are doing at least some of the stuff they were supposedly elected to do. So if you get stopped now (if they ever pass this law, which is questionable anyway) with a joint or two, you'll get a slap on the wrist. And if you get caught with 49 seedlings, I guess the same - but 50 seedlings - 14 years in the slammer!!! - I wish to fuck somebody would explain the rationale of that one, but I don't suppose that's going to happen anytime soon. There has never been any sense behind the drug laws - just an excuse for cops and courts and jails, and another law to control the little people with.

As for the election finance laws - well, the corruption here is of vastly greater significance than any drug law - but we're never really going to hear about it.

They ought to let whoever wants to give as much as they want to to any political party they want to support - that's kind of what political freedom means - but there ought to be a very strictly enforced disclosure rule as well - i.e. "Hi!! I'm running to be a Lib/PC backbencher, and if elected, you fairly irrelevant constituents won't have any say at all in how I vote in Ottawa, because I will do EXACTLY what my party leader tells me, since our party has received just scads of money from certain donors, who damn well expect some good return for that investment! ... nono, I can't tell you what they want - that's a trade secret. But start saving haha." - or perhaps, "Hi. I'm Jean or Paul or Mike/Ernie or whoever, I'm a Liberal/Conservative (that's the name of the political party - don't get it confused with any real dictionary meaning of the word), and we as a party received 17 million dollars from the BCNI corporations this last year, and if we are elected we will basically be doing what they want us to do - lower taxes and more handouts to them, cutting funding for healthcare and schools and stuff like that for you other saps, stuff like that. If you believe that running Canada so that corporations and their shareholders make a killing by rigging the whole system in their favor, and fuck the rest of you, then you ought to vote Liberal/Conservative. Thanks for your time." (note - feel free to substitute any other corporate party name you like there for Liberal/Conservative)

HAHAHAHAHAHA - sorry - little levity there.

And then (RAD ALERT!!) what they really ought to do is pass some serious electoral laws - things like proportional representation, so that we get away from this ridiculous and highly undemocratic shit of parties receiving 25-30% of the support of the people of Canada (or a province) getting big majority governments. As for financing, we really ought to lessen the impact of money - the theory is that anyone can run for office, and we ought to make sure that is a reality, not a myth - for instance, things like the government paying perhaps a lump sum to the media in the country, and requiring them to provide a certain amount of space at no charge to EVERY person wishing to run for office - the same amount of space for each candidate - each and every day of the election campaign - for that candidate to say what he or she wants to say. Government money made available for wannabe candidates to print campaign material and distribute it, rent offices and pay overhead, etc - or else make it clear in the election advertising - something like - "We do have sort-of open elections in Canada, but actually only people with a certain minimum amount of money can be *serious* candidates" - and either we are trying to improve that situation - or that's the way we want it - I mean really (haha) - do you want some friggin welfare bum in the Houses of Parliament, or some good respectable honest lawyer, with lots of corporate connections? Really now!!

I mean, whatever you want, make it official, let's get away from lying about things, pretending about things.

There are many things that could be done to make elections truly fair - but rather obviously, the governments we have had, and the corporate money that controls them - do not want to do anything to endanger their power, so change will not come easy - hell, we're positively retro, you know - there are about 3 western democracies left in the world that do NOT yet have proportional rep of some sort - and guess who is one of them.

As with so much else, it is up to the people - if we keep rewarding their corruption by voting for them, they have no reason to change.

Hey - that time again. Catch ya later.

Write if ya want.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: With thanks to the Editors of the Toronto Star, Globe and Mail, Ottawa Citizen, Ch'town Guardian, Vancouver Sun, and others I cannot think of at the moment, for their refusal to print my letters over the last few years on various issues of national import - had I even a hope of being printed occasionally in these fora and my voice acknowledged in the national debate, I would undoubtedly have not bothered putting all this together. Cheers!